For My Sister on Her Wedding Day

On June 27th my sister, Trisha, married Bryce, the love of her life, in the most beautiful, special, joyous ceremony (followed by a super rockin’ dance party). I could have gone a million different ways with my maid of honor speech, but I landed on this. Here’s what I said to my sister on her wedding day:

I’m Trisha’s sister, Tara. I had just turned 3 when this beautiful bundle of joy with a very large head was born into the world, which means I’ve known her for exactly 28 years, 1 month, and 22 days. I’d like to think I know a thing or two about Trisha you might not even know, Bryce. So I wanted to take this time to enlighten you about some of Trisha’s character traits so you know what you’re really getting yourself into.

Trisha is a planner. 

This is a nice way of saying she is sneaky and somewhat mischievous, which I attribute to her creative forethought. When we were growing up, our family had dinner together as often as we could. It was expected that Tyler, Trisha, and I would do cleanup afterwards, but little Trisha always disappeared at this convenient time. She claimed it was because she had to poop, but I think we all knew she was just trying to avoid doing the dishes.

She also made big plans for when any member of our family was out of the house, or at least none the wiser to her schemes. She “borrowed” plenty of our mom’s makeup when she wasn’t looking and consistently stole my clothes for years. And there’s a 100% chance she looked better in them than I did, but I can’t prove it because I never saw her wearing them. She was good.

Bryce: You have to be vigilant. She will always try to sneak into her Christmas presents. She might even try to take your clothes, which is probably a separate issue. But still – never let your guard down.

Trisha can be indecisive.

I discovered this when she first learned how to write and filled the inside covers of all of our childhood books with the words YES and NO scrawled in ink in the handwriting of a 5-year-old with developing fine motor skills.

It was like an intense psychological conflict was happening inside her brain, and she just couldn’t decide what to choose, so both YES and NO made the cut, over and over and over again, ruining so many books!

Even now, Trisha struggles to decide what she wants. She never tries on clothes before she buys them, claiming she doesn’t like the hassle. But I’m pretty sure it’s just a coping mechanism she uses avoid weighing the pros and cons of the outfit in the mirror and making an informed decision. The pressure can just be too much.

Bryce: It’s kind of a miracle that you even made it into this equation because if it had been a different day — who knows? You might not have made the cut. So when you ask Trisha where she wants to go for dinner or what movie she wants to watch, and you see the panic and turmoil in her face, try to cut her some slack. Her struggle is real.

Trisha is complex.

I mean this in the best way possible, I swear! When I was in middle school, and Trisha was in elementary school, we didn’t always get along. Actually, we rarely got along, and I always chalked it up to the fact that I was a Hanson girl and she was a Backstreet Boys girl. We just lived in different worlds. I didn’t understand her sparkly Limited II clothes (and later her Hollister miniskirts) or why she seemed to be so much cooler than me at an early age.

But once I cleared my adolescent brain enough to realize there was more to our relationship than the boy bands who divided us, I started to see her as a person. Not just my sister, but a girl who would become a woman who laughed at things I didn’t and thought about things I didn’t and loved in ways I didn’t – and all those ways were good and meaningful and unique to her.

I’m happy to report that once we were both in high school, we became pretty good friends, even though I became known as “Trisha’s sister” when she was a freshman and I was a senior. Not cool, Trisha’s friends. Not cool.

Bryce: As your marriage to Trisha grows and you guys encounter things that could potentially divide you, such as your loyalty to one boy band or another, I hope you always see the complex and beautiful woman beneath the surface and remember how much there is to fight for.

Trisha is funny.

Not that you didn’t already know this, but she just has this quirky and rare sense of humor that gives me the deep-down giggles. I’ll laugh at anybody; it’s kind of a reflex. But not Trisha. She has much more discretion, so when she does laugh at something, you know it’s really good. I’ve spent a lot of time being an idiot around her in hopes that I’ll get a laugh – and luckily she thinks I’m funny, so it’s paid off more than once.

I have an urge to list off at least a hundred you-had-to-be-there moments from our days of awesomeness cruising in my convertible, nights of sharing a room together for 10 years, hours of hyperness on road trips, the words and phrases and nicknames and voices that only the two of us will ever really understand. But I won’t. But they’re all funny, I swear.

I’ll just sum it up with a story from last Christmas. Trisha and I thought it would be cute to get a picture of her giving me a piggy back ride in front of the Christmas tree in our matching Christmas jammies which just said “Ho” on the shirt. When I jumped on her back, we both tipped over and fell INTO the Christmas tree and laid there, laughing until our tummies hurt as we picked pine needles out of each other’s hair and Ho shirts. The whole thing is a pretty accurate picture of our relationship. You had to be there.

Trisha is faithful.

Did you know in high school she was voted most likely to become a Nun? I’m sure her classmates would be disappointed to know that her future panned out differently, but luckily for Bryce, she, in fact, DID NOT become a Nun. When she got grounded in high school (which was semi-often), it was from youth group and Student Venture. I always thought Trisha was a little rebellious, but if our parents were punishing her by keeping her from her favorite faith-based extracurriculars, I think they had it pretty easy.

Trisha, Tyler, and I were all baptized on the same day. My heart swelled with pride when my little sister publicly proclaimed that her faith in Jesus was her own. I’ve watched over the years as she has sought God’s will for her life and let Him guide her decisions. I’ve seen her fall and get back up again, relying on supernatural strength and healing. She is resilient and wise beyond her years. More recently, I’ve been on the receiving end of some of Trisha’s power pep talks that are jam packed with nuggets of truth and wisdom that I will always keep in my heart.

Bryce: My ultimate prayer for your marriage to Trisha is that you continue to seek the Lord together and always rely on your foundation of faith. He has made her who she is, and He has made her to choose YOU as her partner in serving Him. And that’s a beautiful thing.

Trisha, when I picture you, I have a permanent snapshot in my brain of you at 6 years old: a little peanut with stringy bangs and missing teeth. You were, and still are, “the cute one….and I’m just your sister.” (Yes, that IS Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen original song reference for those of you keeping track.) As much as I’d like preserve that image of you forever, I’m coming to grips with the fact that you’re all grown up now. You’re married, and someday you’ll make me an aunt, and you and Bryce will build your own memories and life together.

When you met Bryce, I knew you found a piece in your puzzle. The way he looks at you is barf-inducingly cute. Anyone who sees you two together for 5 seconds can tell that he adores you, as he should. And the way you love him back is true and real and fun and pure and deep. I pray I find a love like that someday. An enduring, passionate, Christ-centered love like yours.

I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be than by your side as God faithfully guides you in this next phase of your life. As they say: “Every thug needs a lady.” And whether I’m the thug or the lady in that scenario, I’m just glad you let me be a part of it all.

Bryper: Welcome to the family, brother. I love you one zillion Bletchley Circles.

Pooty: You are my favorite person, and I love you one zillion awkward lingering hugs with a butt grab.

Happy wedding! Here’s to Trisha & Bryce….let’s party!

love, tara